“My goodness, I didn’t even recognize you!” declared our neighbor who sat astride her bike as V and I entered the resident parking garage. Failing to respond to my heartfelt ‘hello’ when our paths initially crossed, her reasoning now struck me as kinda odd.Read More
It was around this time last year that I came down with a fairly severe case of what is known in Germany as Frühjahresmudigkeit. While I would like to equate the lapse in time since my last instalment at Harlem Hausfrau to this dreaded ailment, I must be honest to both myself and the wonderfully patient readers of this blog that it has in fact been a case of “meinen innerern Schweinehund(“my internal pig(schwein) dog(hund)”) simply rearing its ugly head.Read More
Peering out into the 6 a.m. morning darkness, I registered with a shudder that the thermostat read a crisp -1 C (29 F.) Groaning, I quickly piled on my winter wear, preparing for the frosty, morning walk with our dog Rosa. In rounding the corner of our building, I was immediately struck by the large, ground floor picture window of our new neighbor’s standing fully ajar.Read More
It occurred to me as I near the six-year anniversary of my move to Germany that I have spent enough time among the natives to gain my own personal insight into the well-documented stereotypes that have plagued the country for as long as most can remember.Read More
I remember back when I was a kid in the fourth grade and being led to believe by my teacher that us kids were on the cusp of something great. Our generation, we were told, were to be the first U.S. citizens to officially learn and ultimately adopt into our everyday lives ‘the’ universal system of measurement (drum roll please) - the metric system.Read More
I have what is known in the German language as Höhenangst or for my American readers, a fear of heights. Thankfully it does not fall within the truly clinical range but it is enough to render a physical sensation that radiates from my feet up into my guts and triggers my brain to play out the various scenarios associated with that one misstep leading to my gruesome and untimely demise.Read More
For the last three days I have sat in my office, consumed by the sensation of my make-up as it makes its way down my face only to land on my desk like colored raindrops. Its 33 degrees Celsius today (that’s around 96 Fahrenheit for my American friends) and there is no air conditioning - like anywhere.Read More
“Oh look, you have gained weight,” MILO exclaimed.
“Excuuuuseeee me?” I gasped in horror, as my eyes narrowed on my mother-in-law.
Now one would think that based on the extreme altering of my facial features that MILO would have recognized this was not a ‘Harlem Hausfrau-friendly’ topic of conversation and it was time to change the subject at hand – fast. MILO appeared not to read me on this – or did she?Read More
As a U.S. expat residing in Deutschland for over five years, I have devoted a respectable amount of time fine-tuning my practices as it relates to any and all State-side visits. Each trip home is a wonder in itself, painstakingly planned via a series of phone calls, emails and internet searches, ending in a calendarized agenda of the must-do activities taking place immediately upon arrival.Read More
I have always been a big lover of beer. While my body is challenged by the very notion of it, quick to send a reminder via my waistline that I might want to rethink the relationship, I warmly embrace this love affair, one that is passionately ignited at the opening of the German beer garden season.Read More
The Scene: Our apartment 4 or so years ago…
“Who in the world is ringing the bell?” I whispered, eyeing the door suspiciously.
“Our guests,” said V.
“Wait…who? Our guests? Are you sure?!”
“Yes I am sure.”
“What in the world are they doing here so early?”Read More
At 87 years young and sharp as a tack, my Mother-in-Law is without question, a force to be reckoned with. Opinions ohne Ende (without an end) and an array of off-color commentary to match, she is (hard stop) one of the most opinionated (albeit at times brutally so) people I know. Ours is solid relationship, one that comes with an understanding and a level of warmth that five years in still leaves me laughing in disbelief one minute and gritting my teeth the next.Read More
I remember reading a few years back that one of my favorite NYC after-shopping-drinking hotspots, infamous for being one of an elite few that regularly employed a bathroom attendant, was considering doing away with the job.Read More
A couple of weeks of ago I was lamenting to V that I was simply exhausted. No matter the extra hours of sleep I tried to lay claim to, I just couldn’t shake this incessant need of more time in bed. At first I thought I was coming down with something but as I cycled into my third week of feeling the lethargy but nothing else materializing, I thought otherwise. In explaining my symptoms to V, he was quick to diagnose...Read More